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| History of Halloween Promised Post |
| 10.31.07 (8:26 am) [edit] |
Hey all... I have yet another sore throat and cold (Joey gave it back to me worse then I originally gave it to him) so I will be putting up the promised Halloween history post this afternoon......
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| 0 Comments |
| Just a little bit of an update on everything, lol |
| 10.28.07 (10:37 am) [edit] |
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Hey TBloggers!! Just wanted to get on here and give a quick update and bitch just a tiny little bit (what else is new?), lol... OK, for those of you who have been wondering where I have been the last few days and why I have not really posted much more then copy and paste entries as previews for published stuff. First, I have been working on the new stuff the last few days, as well as editing some old stuff. What I usually do is write whatever it is I am writing from start to finish, or a full scene from start to finish, in one sitting, then in an hour or so, go back and add detail as I type it, then leave it alone for a few days, and edit it, then leave it for a few more days and re-edit, then submit it. This whole process usually takes a week or so for a usual story. So, I have been working on a new one the last few days. It is a little more detailed then some of the otehr ones I have written. Mostly because it incorperates a fantasy my husband and I have been telling each other for the last few years, lol. I C&P the preview here because you guys endure my rambling and venting all the time, willingly, lol, so I gave you all a preview... The Diary series, I have the basic story arches outlined, as well as the main arch and final conclusion of the story, I just never know what real life events might work their way in or effect my writing, and some of the tiny individual story arches that appear in individual entries or scenes suprise me, lol. Christine and Allen have taken on a life of their own and every time I put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and write of them, it is like I am spending time with very dear, personal friends. I incorperate things going on in my life, feelings, emotions, passion, most of my friends have made masked appearences in the series, changing details that would make others realize who they are. Christine even shares my coffee addiction, lol, and her devotion to her husband/Master is the same love, devotion, and trust I feel for Joey. I try to ourline the trust and love involved in the kind of relationship they enjoy, the consent, the compassion, that above all, Christine's well being, safety, and consent are foremost in Allen's mind, heart and soul. I really think, and hope, I got that message across in the last entry I posted, where Allen tells Christine that if she wants to give it all up and walk away from the D/s life, he will do so, and they will walk away hand in hand, together, united. Joey has a pre-hire letter waiting for him if he decides tot ake the job with TMC trucking. They know he is on unemployment and have not officially offered him the job, that way he can still look at other places around here to see if he can get a better offer and not loose his unemployment because he turned down an offer, lol...We will know more when he takes his road test on Wednesday. (which, if you listen to his step father, Joey will never pass, he will never get a job as a driver, because he isn't doing exactly what his step father says he needs to do to drive properly, when he prefaces everythign he says about driving with "i have never driven a truck, i don't know how to drive a rig, but you need to do this to accomplish that...." or he isn't doing things like the saint son has done, so he is not right, or he can't support his family or whatever... I swear sometimes it seems like the saint son can do no wrong and the step children can do no right and he has set the step children up for failure... but I can't coplain too much, yet, about him because this is his house we are living in and we have no payment on it, which I think sometimes is just another way of him controling Joey, since he is a very controling man @@) I think I am going through a slight bout of depression. I just can't seem to make myself do much of anything that involves effort lately. I get really mad at everyone for no reason, my hypertension is horrible, I wanna sleep all the time, and I think there are a few reasons I am feeling like this. One is that JJ has just suddenly stopped listening and obeying anythign either of his parents says. Another is that I am having those little thoughts about Rebecca, that what happened was my fault some how. Also, I am reminded every day be someone, inadvertantly or not, how I have not been able to fulfill my husbands only dream left before his family would be complete, having a baby girl (he would love more kids, as would I, but we both feel that we can be satisfied with a boy and a girl, and after that, we will not actually try for more, but we probably won't prevent them either), and that because of this, many see me as a failure as a woman. I have no females around here whom I can talk to. I mean, yea, I can call a few friends and bitch to them over the phone, but no one here who I can just say, lets go outside and smoke and then just bitch to them, or no one who can come over here for a few minutes and just hang out with JJ while I take a shower or something. So, I either have to spend the time that he is up in the morning with him and then shower and clean while he is napping, or clean while he is up in the morning and then shower and relax for a few minutes during nap time, or shower and clean while he is up and basically ignore him in the mornings and relax during nap time (I refuse to do this one). Then I feel so bad because I just want a few minutes away fro him every so often, and I don't get that. I felt horrible yesterday even considering asking my mother in law if she could keep an eye on JJ outside for 10 minutes while I went to the bathroom because earlier when I came out of the bathroom from peeig I found JJ in my room, in a box, trying to open the cough syrun I had in the box where I thought he could not get to it... So, instead I just waited until they left, put him down for his nap, then did what I had to do. I felt absolutely horrible when I asked Joey's mom if she could keep an eye on JJ if he is in town on our anniversary @@ And then everyone thinks I am doing something wrong. Either having kids (too much emotional pain for extended family, but screw the way Joey and I feel,see earlier posts, lol) Or that I will leave Joey because people think I can't handle it if he is gone for more then a day or two, because people believe things when he jokes around, augh!! Or that I am a horrible mother because I want a few minutes away from JJ (guess who said this @@) Then, people think it is ok to bitch to me about their children, when they have never had a miscarriage, or a still born, or gave birth to a live child and watched that child suffer and fight to live only to loose the fight because her little body was too weak to fight anymore, and then watched that child as she lost her battle and to have been holding her hand as she took her last breath.... they are bitching and complaining to me about what a pain their children are, or how they wish they had never had them (p.s. did I mention these "mothers" actually only spend time with their children after they get out of school or after work, and can't even deal witht hem then or handle them for that short a period of time? at least when I bitch, and it is not as often as it seems, its because I have gone months without any other interaction between anyone besides Joey and JJ, that is face to face...) Maybe I do have no right to complain, maybe I am wrong, maybe I am a horrible mother, but at least my child knows me, at least my child sees me every day, and knows I am here if he needs anything.... maybe I am just in a "funk" because the night I went stupid and almost cost myself my marriage and did somethign I can never take back or undo has been on my mind alot lately, and I am not sure why..... I don't know... Ehhh maybe I am just in a mood like this because I just got my period last night, a week early, and it is heavy as a mofo, lol....... Well, I gotta go put JJ down for his nap and then go give the puppies a bath, lol (which will get back to step father if I use too much water @@ lol) |
| 0 Comments |
| Job Offers |
| 10.25.07 (7:47 am) [edit] |
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Well, Joey has gotten offers from several different companies. Right now it looks like he may go with a company called TMC. Unfortunately, while at orientation he will only get about $300 a week, which is less then unemployment, but he will not be home, so we should be able to save a little money, lol.... We have been looking at some other places, Maverick has a pretty good offer for their flatbed division, so looking into them. Also C R England. If he goes with TMC we can move to W Memphis, but Maverick I think wants him around here. He has an interview tomorrow with Maverick. They said he can start a regional run at 36cents per mile plus $550 orientation pay and $500 signing bonus!! woohoo!! lol.. We will see how that goes tomorrow, and orientation is only 1 week. This company averages $52k a year for their company drivers, so that is cool!! That should be enough for a good living and to buy a house and possibly refinance the explorer, lol. The mortgage should not be too much of a problem getting since we have the VA Loan to gaurentee the loan, lol... |
| 5 Comments |
| Turning Point |
| 10.24.07 (11:57 am) [edit] |
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This is the story I have been wanting to submit, and did the other day... It is Chapter 4 or 5 in my series.... My Dear Diary, the one I can disclose all my feelings to, the one place I can pour my heart out without fear of judgment. I must confess something to you. I am at a loss of how to comfort my subbie-sister. I know if I have ever experienced what she is going through, I would be inconsolable. Tiffany and her Master have always said they want children. When He announced her pregnancy last September, everyone was so happy for them. Then, three days later, I got a phone call that she had lost the pregnancy. Allen took her Master out for a drink, to give Him an opportunity to vent His feelings out about the loss. Leaving Tiffany and myself alone to discuss how she was feeling about it. Over a glass of wine, ok, a bottle of wine, she told me how devastating this was to them both. How her Master had cried at her bedside in the emergency room, and how she was not sure how to comfort Him. A few months later, they got the news that they were expecting again. This time, as she progressed further into her pregnancy, everything was fine. She confided in me that this child was conceived in bondage. Her Master had her cuffed to the web, backside up, and was tugging on her clamped nipples when He lost control and filled her. He had been planning to cover her ass with His cum. But, like most men, no matter how skilled, when she orgasmed around Him, He lost control. And the child they were now expecting was conceived that night. They only told a few close friends from the club that they were expecting again. She felt that she could not handle it again if they told everyone and then had to tell them that something happened. Her Master agreed, for her sanity and mental well being, He sacrificed His position as a trusted member of the club for her by keeping this secret. As time went on, some people asked where they were. It was a full year since the last time they were seen at any social outing. We subbies missed our friend and our Paddle Master at the club, and the other Dom/mes noticed His absence as well. Lisa and I were designing the cake for Tiffany’s baby shower, which was when she had decided to tell everyone of the pregnancy. Then, the phone rang. When I answered it, Allen was on the line. I knew from His voice something was wrong. I sat on the stool by the phone while I waited for Him to give me whatever news it was. Lisa, seeing my face and how quickly I sat, came over and got on her knees in front of me with her head on my lap. I absently began to stroke her hair as I waited for Allen to begin speaking again. “Hun, can Lisa watch everything there? I need you to come to the hospital, it’s Tiffany. Matt isn’t doing too well, so I am going to take him to get something to eat, but he does not want her left here without someone with her. Please, Babe?” His call was from a husband to His wife, His best friend, His lover, and I knew something was wrong. I knew He was on His cell in the car, alone, yet He did not call Tiffany’s Master Sir Matt, just Matt. He was using first names, and asking. I could hear not only worry and fear in His voice, but relief that I was there and a love only a brother can feel for His ailing sister, as that is what Tiffany is to Him, His sister, the only remaining family for either of them. “Yes, Allen, of course, Lisa and I will close up here and both of us will be there in twenty minutes?” “I am on my way to pick both of you up, then. I can help get everything cleaned up and closed. Three people can do it faster then two. Christine…. I love you.” “I love You, too. I will see You in a few minutes then.” When I hung up the phone, I looked down at Lisa, head still in my lap. She had no idea what the conversation had been about. All she knew was it was something big since we were closing early. I told her that Allen had not informed me exactly what was going on, but that He sounded very worried about both Tiffany and Sir Matt. We started to clean up and were ready to go by the time Allen arrived. Lisa locked up while I walked to the car. When I got there, Allen looked me in the eyes and after a brief moment of contact, mine dropped to His shoes. He whispered in my ear, “I will forgive that transgression for now because of your concern for My sister.” I nodded. Lisa joined us and we all got into the car. The next few hours and days went by in a blur. Tiffany had gone to an appointment to be sure the baby was ok and there was no heart beat. She had immediate surgery that night to deliver the baby. Allen’s niece was born, but she was born still. Tiffany blamed herself; Sir Matt tried to tell Himself that it was because He had left her alone so often during the pregnancy. No one knows what happened. That night, Allen and I discussed our own future and wants for a family. And, sitting on the back porch of our home, over chilled glasses of Merlot, for the first time in a long time, He cried to me. He told me how unfair it was that His sister and her Husband, who want children and deserve them and would love and cherish them, have been visited by misfortune, much as we had, and that there were so many people out there who do not deserve the children they have, and they are out there, starving, freezing, and addicted to drugs, yet two couples who want children more then anything, who would love and cherish more children, have been exposed to so much heart ache and tragedy. I knew this experience with Tiffany would bring back the memories of our own children we have lost, of His little girls. I was prepared to go through the grief with him again. I was not ready for the questions and the guilt He was feeling, and I felt that as His wife, I should have known how He was feeling. “Chris, do you think we are being punished? Do you think that we have all been subjected to all of this because of something we have done? Do you think that, if we were a vanilla couple, and did not do things the way we do, we would not have gone through what we have? I guess what I am asking, Christine, is, do you want to give up the life and become a vanilla couple? If you feel that we are being exposed to this pain because someone up there thinks we live a life that puts our selves and any children at risk, I will give it all up. If you want to live a normal life, all you have to do is say so and we will walk away from it all, hand in hand.” I got on my knees in front of Him and took His hands into mine. After kissing one then the other, I looked at Him, with tears in my eyes, and told Him how much I love Him. Then, after a moment of silence, “Allen, why would You think that? I know what it seems like right now, but this has nothing to do with our lifestyle. You and I love each other, respect each other. We honor one another’s limits, and each one knows what the other likes. How does that differ from any vanilla couple? The fact that we both tend to hide the relationship has been bothering me for some time. We are not being punished because of our private life. We are two consenting, healthy, professional adults. I love You and would not ever trade my life with You. I know You would walk away without looking back at the life if I asked and felt it was needed, but I never asked because I didn’t feel that way.” “I am glad you know that if you asked, I would walk away. But, would you be comfortable if we were to not hide the relationship anymore? Not necessarily make it a public announcement, but not hide it when we are around our vanilla friends?” I bow my head and snap back into the dutiful submissive role that I have filled for Allen for all these years. It comes naturally to me and it felt like He had stabbed me in the heart when He asked if I wanted to give it up. I do not feel I would ever be able to completely give it up, even if we mutually decided to walk away from the life and the club. “Yes, Sir, I would be comfortable. I would be overjoyed and proud to appear before Your friends as I truly am and truly feel I belong, as Your equal, but an equal who trusts You enough to know that You will always have my best interests in your heart and mind. Whatever You feel comfortable with revealing to Your friends and partners at work, I will trust You to decide. I do not, however, think it would be wise right now to reveal Lisa and her involvement in our home, Sir.” “I agree with you in that regard, Bright Eyes. I do apologize for the hurt I saw in your eyes when I suggested giving it all up. I have a gift for you, Young One. Close your eyes and turn your face to the sky.” As I did as He asked, He took a thin silver and gold band from behind Him and slipped it around my neck. With a *click* it closed and locked. Allen then got off his chair and on his knees in front of me. He kissed me and motioned for me to stand, in a symbolic reversal of roles for the promise He was about to make to me. “This is small enough that those who do not know our life, will think nothing of it, but those we trust will know what it means. I love you, Bright Eyes, and always will. I hope I can live up to the standards set for Me and be deserving of your love and submission. You have given Me more joy, love, respect, pride, and honor then I could have ever asked for. From the first day we met in the club and you were confused and lonely, I knew I had found the woman for Me. I love you more then you will ever know, and I will always be there for you, no matter what.” When he made the move to stand, I reached for His hand to assist Him. When He stood up, I again kissed each of His hands, got on my knees in front of Him, and kissed each foot, then stood again and, while looking anywhere but His face, I said, “Thank you, Master.” “Now, go in and prepare something. We will be having some guests tomorrow, two of the other partners and their spouses will be here.” And with that, He began making phone calls to be sure His sister and Sir Matt were both alright as well as to tell Sir Matt the outcome of tonight’s conversation. From what I could hear through the open kitchen window, Master had planned this evening from the beginning, even though I threw in a curve ball to Him in requesting we do not hide it anymore. As I began a cake baking, I took several thick steaks out of the freezer to defrost and set in a marinade for the night so Master could grill them for dinner the next day. © 2007 MidnightSun Collaring |
| 0 Comments |
| Her Angel On Earth |
| 10.23.07 (11:30 am) [edit] |
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Suddenly, a song starts playing. The old feelings become new again, the past comes crashing in with a renewed clarity. Scared, so scared. Not sure what is going to happen afraid to even speculate. When the day is over, what will the results of the rage be? What will be left of the shell of a person in the corner? Thunk, thunk, thunk, his steps as he draws closer, ever closer, with that look in his eyes, are amplified by her fear. Will this be the day he goes over the edge? Will it be tomorrow? When will it end? Who will survive the final confrontation? Who will want her, broken and afraid, when he is done? Will anyone ever want her again? She deserves no better then him. Nothing can be done right. His anger is all she can see, as she peers through a black eye, afraid to even breathe the wrong way. The blows begin to rain in. His rage goes on. She begs and pleads with him to stop, she says she loves him, and, in a way, she believes she does. When will he stop tonight, what can she say to make him stop? To make him believe she loves him? When will she get the courage to leave? Will it be too late when she does get the courage? Will he perceive that new found strength in her and decide to end her then and there? In the background, she hears a sweet lullaby, she is lulled into sleep. It is not the song that makes her sleep, though, it is the almost unbearable pain, both physical and mental, and that actually causes her to black out. When will she awaken? Will she awaken? When she does, if she does, will he still be there? Will he still be in a rage? Will he hold her pass out against her? Fear. She can taste it as sure as she can taste the blood from her split lip. Pain and anguish wash over her in the black depths of unconsciousness. Suddenly, she is calm. He cannot hurt her in this dark place. She cannot feel the blows she knows he is still inflicting. All she feels are the loving arms of the spirits surrounding her, lending her their strength, comforting her, giving her peace while in the midst of all the violence. She knows she will go on, that this will not be the day he finishes her off, that this will not be the day she goes to her eternal slumber. She knows what she must do. She must end this all, she must leave and get away. But he will come looking for her; he will try to disrupt any semblance of normalcy she can make for herself. Suddenly she is back in the present. The loving arms are again around her, this time, though, they are not those of an angel, but those of the One she loves, One deserving of her love, her Protector, the One who took her in, broken and battered, and showed her it is ok to love again and trust again. He has become her Angel on earth and has shown her she deserves everything she has and more. He loves her and shows her every day, He cherishes her and holds her up on a pedestal. She feels the arms of her Angel on earth enfold around her. Her Angel saved her, from the feelings of worthlessness. Her Angel made her feel whole again. Before her Angel came along, she was just a shell of a girl, the discarded little thing in the corner, alone and scared, but full of more courage then she will ever realize, the courage it took to leave, without looking back. She was afraid to be herself, afraid of the pain, the hatred, coming back again. She saw his face on every street corner, every city, and every house she entered. She was afraid of the hurt. The pain inflicted by a man. Because of the rages, she was afraid to be herself, but her Angel on earth cured her of that fear. Her Angel allowed her to be herself, and under her Angel's patience, love and trust, she flourished. She grew to be more then the former husk of a girl she was before. Even though he still haunts her nightmares from time to time, it is less and less, the memories of the pain dulling over time, the hurt from his words lessening over time. He no longer has control over her mind. Her Angel has broken his control over her. Her Angel has taught her to love again, to trust, and to feel whole. She did not think she was deserving of love, trust and compassion, but her Angel showed her she was. What he beat out of her, her Angel replaced. What he did to her with his degrading remarks, her Angel reversed. Her Angel helped replace her self confidence, helped her become the woman she is today. Her Angel is still helping her, holding her up, showing her off. What one man destroyed and stole, her Angel, another Man, has repaired and replaced. Her Angel has saved her, when she thought all hope was lost, her Angel rescued her, and she will be forever grateful to her Angel for the gifts bestowed upon her by His hand. I was that girl, and You, My Love, are my Angel on Earth. (c) MidnightSun |
| 4 Comments |
| My baby is going to be 4!!!!! |
| 10.20.07 (9:52 am) [edit] |
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Wow! Can't believe my baby is going to be four tomorrow!! Seems like only yesterday we were trying to bargin with him, in utero, to stay in and cook a little while longer, lol. Then worrying if he was going to walk because he didn't take his first steps until after he was 1. Now, he is going to be four!!! He is still being lazy and not wanting to stop what he is doing to go potty, but we will work on that, it will probably be like everything else, and he will just one day get up and decide to do it on his own without any accidents, lol. He is starting to write and read, a little, lol. He loves school work when mommy does it with him in the mornings, he loves to explore and find things outside. He loves splashing in mud puddles, and chasing frogs around the yard. He likes racing his dogs across the back yard, and playing with his football and basketball hoop. He likes to catch fire flies and play make believe. He sings along to Handy Many and all other Play House Disney shows, he does the stretches that the clown on Big Comfy Couch does, followed by his own 10 second tidy, without being asked. He picks out his own clothes, with a few sugestions from Mommy about what is clean and what goes together. He "nuggles" with me in the morning and offers you his "feel better blankie" when he thinks you need it. He can pick out advanced shapes (octagon, elipse, etc) and will tell you your eye color. He speaks some Spanish (thanks to Handy Many, Dora, and Sesame Street) he can sign (he spoke late, so I taught him to sign to tell me what he wanted when he was younger) and he can speak a little German (his Daddy and I speak it occasionally when we don't want him to know what we are saying). His face reminds me of the innocence of my own childhood. He, at four, still believes with all his heart that Santa is a jolly fat man in a red suit, but does not realize that a real version of Santa lives and walks amoung the people in his own community. He still believes that the Birthday Fairy comes during his nap on his birthday and leaves his presents for him. He can spell his state of birth and will tell everyone he meets with pride that he was born in Alaska. He will sit next to me on a keyboard that does not work and "check my emails like Mamma" and actually attempt to type. He can play a scale or two on his piano (Daddy taught him that, I can't play piano for the life of me, lol) He knows the difference between a girl and boy and knows how to treat a lady, even at this young age. We are working on manners, but he is learning them. He will sing along to any song he hears that has a chorus tht repeats and knows Weird Al songs like Weasle Stomping Day and Don't Download This Song. My four year old son, can sing Queen's Don't Stop Me Now without the music playing. But, last night I was reflecting on what he will not know. Things my husband and I knew growing up. Things we were able to experience. My son, born in 2003, into a then Air Force family has known how to say goodbye to friends and family since birth. He has not known the feeling of growing up with his family around (at times a good thing, at times not so good). He has known leaving homes and moving to new places across the country. He does not bat an eye when Mommy mentions that we will be moving, again, before the new year. He will never use a typewriter, computers have always been small enough to fit on a desk top. We have been involved in a public military conflict his entire life. For the first three years of his life, he was exposed to people who either called his Daddy bad names or respected his Father because of his job. He has had to comfort friends as only a fellow toddler can when bad news had come in about their deployed parent, while his Daddy is still home and safe. He has learned, at such a young age, not to take his parents for granted, and not to make other children jealous that their parents were deployed while his was home. He is used to his daddy being his friend's stand in father and going to bed at night having not seen his Daddy that day even though he is not deployed because he had to work an 18 and 20 hour shift. He will never know a new Mr Rogers episode, Gabby and Miles were never children raised on Sesame Street but high schoolers and Elmo always lived there. He has never been introduced to Mr Hooper or Linda on Sesame Street, except in movies. Ninja Turtles were always an animated series on Saturday afternoons. He missed out on Monicagate and seeing the words "Oral sex in the Oval Office" in the New York Times. To him, Time Warp is an impossible thing to accomplish instead of a song in a cult classic musical (perhaps he is lucky in that respect, lol). He is in the American Idol generation. Gone are the days of the pop stars who cared about what their fans were learning from them. Debby Gibson and Tiffany are replaced by Lindsey and Britney. The culture he is being raised in has canceled one of the last remaining moral compasses, 7th Heaven. Now, we have to rely wholey on the teenage mothers of his class mates to teach their children morals on their own. The Olsen Twins have always been annorexic 20somethings. And Meatloaf has always been thinner. Rocky Horror Picture Show, Grease, and Dirty Dancing are just phrases to him. Rocky Horror is a horrible B movie to him, not the classic it is to my generation. Grease is soethign you put in a frying pan, and Dirty Dancing is something adults do when children are not around. Who knows what the cult classics will be for his generation. He will never know some of the people, places and things that have shaped his parents' beliefs and personalities. The Yankees have never won a World Series in his lifetime, but the Tigers have been there, and he will never remember a time when Baseball was in the Olympics. The Twin Towers have always been gone, and he will learn about that fatefull day on 9/11/01 when the world as his parents knew it ended. He will never know the panic and the terror I felt at not knowing if friends and family had gone to work that morning, thankfully. He will never experience the eerie feeling of looking up at the sky and not seeing a single plane in the air, or walking on a military base and it being deathly silent. I thank whoever may be up there that he did not have to live through that. Happy Birthday my Prince. Who knows what kind of society you will help create and what your part will be in it. In 20 years, your wife may be sitting in the same position I am right now and reflecting on the things your own son will be doing and missing out on that you had in your childhood. I can only hope that when your child is turning four, you can look back on your childhood as fondly as I can mine and wish the things you grew up with were still available for your children. |
| 1 Comments |
| Full explination of characters (since 100 letters at a time is not enough, lol) |
| 10.19.07 (2:46 pm) [edit] |
 Meet Drachan. He is my alter ego in Final Fantasy XI. He travels around with a bright blue Wyvern named Missy. He is a male Elvaan. The levels in this pic are a little out of date, lol. I began playing about 3 years ago or so. Regina was my first character, then Tigerlily, when I was only on my husband's account. Then, we got the second account and I created Drachan. I chose him for a number of reasons. When people meet me, they don't want to believe that I hold the beliefs I do because of what I write, like, prefer, etc... It also takes me a long time to trust people I know in real life with the real me. I have been hurt too many times when I have revealed the real me to people I thought I could trust. Traditionally, elvaan are very traditional, conservative by nature. The back story given about them is that they are very true to their country, family, and religous beliefs. People who know everything about me are shocked to find out the conservative beliefs and morals I have. Drachan is a way for me to act them out. He is very patriotic to his country of origin, extremely true to his religion, and very much in love with his wife. And he is not afraid to show it, or act on it. He is very loyal to his friends if they are true friends, and will go to hell and back to defend them all, but betray him and he will cut you off completely. Why a male elvaan you ask? Well, my husband plays a female elvaan named Kieri. We had an in-game wedding and they will not allow two females to be married. So, I chose a male elvaan, who really is not that bad looking.  This is Kieri. My husband plays her much for the same personality reasons as I play Drachan. He chose a female when he began playing because he felt the male characters all were horrible looking, lol. And he felt that, if he was going to stare at a cartoon's backside for hours while playing, it might as well be a female's lol. We are also role players in the game occasionally. The people we are friends with in the game know the truth about our real genders and think it is kind of cool. It's not hurting anyone and we have a blast when we are on line, so its ok, lol. Some couples go out and spend large ammounts of money on dinner and a movie, plus babysitting and gas, we prefer to sit home and save our game world, lol. |
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| Authorship..... |
| 10.19.07 (1:33 pm) [edit] |
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Hey TBlogers! I am trying to get back into writing again. I have a few that I have done that I am editing, some of which will not be put on the site, simply because they are either written for my husband or because people have asked for custom ones. I need ideas though, lol. So, I am offering the TBloggers an exclusive offer. If you would like to help me out with ideas, please let me know and I will write a custom story for you and your loved one. I follow the rules on the literotica site. So, no minors, no involving animals, etc.... if you click the linkt ot he web site where my stories are published, you can see some of my work. I do copyright my work, but if you would like to feature it on your site, please let me know.
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| New look |
| 10.19.07 (12:46 pm) [edit] |
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The blog has a new look, lol, and more changes will be added in then next few days. at the bottom is an icon of handcuffs, if you are over 18, click, "adult fiction" lol. Enjoy it all.
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| TONS to do, lol |
| 10.08.07 (7:16 am) [edit] |
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Just realized how much I have to do before we move, lol. Thank goodness lol. Do not know where I would be if I didn't have my coffee, lol. JJ has been acting kind of weird lately, lol. He has this big Scooby Doo stuffed dog thing and he has been saying it is his doggy. Then he will try to "feed" this stuffed animal the real dog's food. lol. He uses the stuffed animal as a body pillow like Mommy's, so I guess its just an attachment to it, lol.  I need to get JJ at least a little somethign for his birthday. I really didn't want to get him too much since we will be moving in a month or so, but he needs something, lol. I figure Land Before Time dvd's for the car and Candy Land or Chutes and Ladders. I'll see what I can find at Walmart, lol. I have to get the stuff together and price it all for the yard sale I want to have. I know I am going to sell my kitchen table. It is glass top and big and bulky and not very child friendly, so I am going to get rid of it, lol. The glass along is worth probably about $100, lol. Plus some baby gear, some old fish tank stuff, other stuff, lol. Then I have to pack everything I just unpacked, lol. I don't have as many boxes anymore since a lot of them got ruined in the move and were thrown into "the pit" where they were burnt, lol. Clothes can be put into bags to move and then the boxes the clothes are in can be used for other things. Boxes that the last movers put other boxes in can be used also. I'll figure it out, lol. And all this basically by Halloween, lol.  OOOOhhh, I am a genius!! Maybe we will take JJ to the Macy's parade in NYC this year!!!!! lol. If I survive the move that is, lo. As if my blood pressure is not high enough, my mom is making it worse by jumping my backside every time I talk to her. She is basically demanding that we get rid of the dogs. How the hell should I get rid of them? They are family members, how the hell am I supposed to get rid of them? OK, so JJ was promised a little sister this fall, he didn't get her because of everything that happened with Rebecca, so now mom wants me to take away his dogs? I don't think so, lol.... Oh well, I am gonna head off to do some house work to get things ready to pack em up, lol.... And time to get the yard sale stuff out and cleaned, lol... Till next time, lol.... ~Me 
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| been such a long time, lol |
| 10.07.07 (7:12 am) [edit] |
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I know, I know, it has been a long time since I have written a post, lol, not to worry, I am still alive. Alot has been going on since my last post, so I will do a quick update now, lol. Well, first off, JJ is still refusing to go potty all the time. He will wake up at night and tell us he needs to be changed, but when I check his pull up he is still dry and clean, so I take him into the potty and he will pee, but that is the only time he will do it consistantly. (I think because it will allow him to stay up a little while, lol) During the day, if he is not playing he will pee in the potty, but not poop. He will also not stop what he is doing to go potty if he is playing. I think starting next week, I will start to take him every half hour, no matter what he is doing. Joey's funding for his CDL has finally been approved!! He starts Monday the 15th. The school said that since he has been approved it is ok with them if he starts on Tuesday, but the state said they will not pay for anything that starts before the 15th, and that was with his advisor pulling strings because he has been in the process for two months when it should only take three weeks. (They were using him as justification to put someone in this office full time, so he had to wait for the woman to get here, then be trained, and everything... never mind what might have been going on here with financials and everything @@) So, he will start the three week training on Monday the 15th. He even has a job waiting for him in NJ once he finishes the training, all he has to do is pass the DOT physical. Him being in school will be a good time for me to concentrate more on JJ's schooling and potty training I think. Then after he is finished with school, we will move to NJ, which is closer to my family and friends. His mom tried to pull a guilt trip yesterday when we told her we would be moving to NJ, but she doesn't realize that I am miserable here, since I know not a single person besides them and they live 3 hours away. So the move will be good for all concerned. It will get us out of the house that his step-father should have torn down years ago, lol. We will be here for his high school to play football about 15 minutes from our house the first friday in November also. I think my GPa will come down here to help us move since he can get here the cheapest by taking a SpaceA flight from the Air Force Base in NJ to the one in Little Rock. Then he will drive the Ford up with me, JJ and the dogs while Joey drives the UHaul. I have decided to go back to school when we move also. I think it will be a great opportunity for me to do so. Since I will have family around who will be supportive of the long schooling process instead of in-laws who think, in the back of their minds, that I will have Joey support me through law school then leave him. Which I would never do. I think his mom is just kind of fearing that in the back of her mind. Although she would never say it to me. I have started to prep for the LSAT again. When I took a practice exam in college under real test conditions, I scored int he mid 160's. I hope to raise that to 170 (at least) by the time I am ready to take the test. The scores range from 120 to 180. We will see. The part about the move that sucks is that I will have to pack everythign up again, lol. And alot of our boxes were destroied in the last move and were burnt in the fire hole the other day. I guess I can take clothes out of boxes and put them in bags then use the boxes the are in for stuff that needs boxes. I also think I will be having a yard sale before we move to get rid of some stuff I have been meaning to get rid of for years. Just to get some extra cash to move with and to get a few nice things when we move into a new place. I'm not too sure yet though, lol. Well, time to get a start on the day, this house will not clean itself and boxes will not pack themselves either, lol. (man I miss the movers the Military provided us with right about now, lol) ~Me |
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